Yesterday I attempted to prune my fruit trees and bushes. Pruning is a mystic art. If you get it right, your fruit trees and bushes will throng with fruit that you will spend the rest of the year making into chutneys, jellies and jams. Get it wrong and your fruit havest will be pathetic like mine was last year. There was a lot at stake so I was badly in need of advice. Unfortunately I could not consult our copy of Dr DG Hessayon’s Fruit Expert book because Dan’s got it. Without DG’s firm and authoritative instructions and handy diagrams, I was lost so had to resort to searching about on the internet, where I got even more confused. It seems the aim is to create a “goblet-shaped branch structure” for trees and smaller redcurrant and gooseberry bushes. I have tried my best although some of my trees look more like cocktail glasses and others just look odd. It was all very nerve-wracking and I have probably sawn off the wrong bits and killed some of them. Meanwhile, in good news, tickets are now on sale for our next full-length show at the Royal Spa Centre in Leamington Spa. You can book tickets here. Tell all your friends, relatives and enemies in Warwickshire to come and if you happen to know the Secret Of Pruning and can explain it clearly without wittering on about goblets then please see me after the show.