Here I am as “Grower of the Month” in Your Allotment magazine, a boutique publication for allotmenteers in North London. The mag is perfect for anyone battling to grow crops on London clay as all the articles are about people trying to do the same. I don’t know what I am doing in this photo. I think I am pointing to some beetroot, which I have since dug up and made into pickled beetroot and borscht. The inset is an embarrassing photo of me getting my silver cup for flower arranging from the Mayor of Harrow, a very exciting moment in my life, perhaps the most exciting moment. It can be quite stressful when a gardening journalist comes to visit your plot. Before Your Allotment came to see me, I spent days weeding and tidying so I could pretend that my allotment looked smart all of the time.