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Gardening celebrity stalker is not me

Some of you may have read the amazing story of how brave Alan Titchmarsh helped rid fellow gardening celeb Diarmuid Gavin of a stalker who’d been making his life a misery. I’d just like to clarify that the stalker or “crazed fan” is not me. I would never follow Diarmuid Gavin around. Alan is the only gardener for me and I admire him from afar and not by hiding in bushes outside his house or anything. Plus I am far too busy to stalk Alan what with rehearsing for our next show at The Cornerstone Arts Centre in Didcot, Oxfordshire, on Saturday and dealing with the aftermath of my latest gardening disaster – my mini-greenhouse falling over. Aagh!

Here is a picture of me innocently enjoying a courgette seedling, little knowing that just days after this photo was taken a terrible catastrophe would occur and the mini-greenhouse behind me would tumble to the ground, jumbling all my carefully planted seeds together and resulting in much loss of life. It all happened on Sunday and I am still reeling from the shock. I had to plant out some of the seedlings because they had fallen out of their pots but goodness knows what they are and what they’ll grow into. It’s utter chaos, worse than the start of the universe. Still, musn’t grumble – unlike Dan who has been grumbling because we have to get up shockingly early tomorrow to get to Oxfordshire and play cucumber trumpets on the radio. I have just been to buy the cucumbers. I would have grown them myself – in fact I was growing some (pickling and normal) – but they were among the casualties of the Great Greenhouse Disaster of 2012.

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