Help! My allotment has gone mad in my absence. This is my gourd patch, which seems to be trying to take over the world like some kind of triffid. I am overwhelmed with crops – courgettes, beans, raspberries, carrots, beetroot, broccoli, pears, tomatoes, potatoes. Goodness knows what I’m going to do with it all. I wonder how Dan’s allotment has fared and whether his gourd patch is as lush as mine. I even have some tiny gourds although I am a bit worried that they may not grow big enough to be made into banjos. Maybe Flatfoot Johnny can fashion them into tiny tambourines.