The kale planted by the good people of Didcot when we did our show at the Cornerstone Arts Centre in south Oxfordshire has come up. I am impressed with the neatness of this row of seedlings. However, there is no sign of the sweetcorn also planted in Didcot. It may have been drowned by the copious amounts of rain we have been getting.

Our Greenfingers Challenge may not be the most scientific of surveys but it has thrown up some interesting results. In Didcot, people clearly take their gardening seriously as this kale has been sown with care and following the instructions on the packet. In other venues audiences have unleashed their creativity such as the lovely ladies from Berwick who wrote “Alan” in peas and in some places people have been downright silly – that 1p still hasn’t grown, north Devon. However, Dan and I are now gearing up for an incredible battle that will re-open old wounds and re-ignite historic rivalries. I speak of course of Lancashire v Yorkshire, the next two counties we’re visiting.

This weekend we’re heading up to Lancashire for two shows – Bleasdale Parish Hall on Friday and one at The Arts Centre, Burscough Wharf on Saturday. The very next weekend we are heading up to Yorkshire for a show at Square Chapel Centre for the Arts in Halifax. But which county will triumph in our Greenfingers Challenge – basically the modern-day equivalent of the War of the Roses, or rather Vegetables? We can’t wait to find out. Lancastrians and Yorkshire folk, pull on your thorn-proof gloves and let battle commence!

Eek! I am trembling with excitement having just got my hands on a SIGNED copy of Dr DG Hessayon’s latest Expert book – The Complete Garden Expert, or “The Expert you have been waiting for”, as it says on the front cover. If you’ve seen the show then you’ll know we devote quite a big section of it to our hero Dr Hessayon who knows absolutely everything about gardening and many other subjects. He’s even the “project consultant” on The Cat Expert and The Dog Expert books demonstrating that his knowledge extends way beyond plants and insects and into the animal kingdom. He may be over 80 but DG – also known simply as The Doc – still gets around and recently berated the EU for its “silly” rules on gardening chemicals, of which he is so fond.

You can imagine how thrilled I was to find a signed DG book at my local garden centre and it got even better as it had a sticker on saying “Signed copy – £2 off” although I would have been happy to give all my life savings to own a book that The Doc had actually touched and written on. Maybe some of the residual chemicals on his hands came off on the book too.

Talking of books, Dan and I feature in a new book about playing the ukulele. We performed at the same event as author Mark Wallington and obviously made a big impression. “Two people sang songs about slugs,” he writes. That’s us!!!

We’ve been busy being on the radio today. This unusual ‘table’ is where Dan lovingly hand-crafted a series of cucumber trumpets for the Jack FM breakfast show team to play. It’s actually a real coffin with what looks like some kind of dog or fox trapped in it although I don’t think it is a real dog or fox. The cucumber trumpets were a hit, as always.

Next we hot-footed it round the corner to BBC Radio Oxford where Dan also whipped out his cucumber trumpet. Presenter Nick Piercey attempted to play a Robbie Williams number but we had no idea what it was.

This is a photo of Dan pretending to be a famous radio personality on BBC Radio Oxford. On the way home we made a good start on a NEW Can You Dig It? song about the hosepipe ban. I am going to do a dance and play a hosepipe. It will be amazing.

At last! I have managed to obtain covert footage of the Greenfingers Challenge seedlings from our very first tour dates in Devon and Somerset. In order to do this, I had to disguise myself as a milkman and inveigle my way into Dan’s home. Not really. I just went round for a rehearsal. Anyway, this first photo shows the plants planted at our show in North Devon. As you can see, some of the seedlings have bolted due to a lack of care by Dan. I think they are brassicas, possibly SPROUTS! Others – chillies and onions (I think) – are doing okay.

In the second photo we see that tomatoes planted in Somerset are doing very well and need re-potting before they strangle each other, Dan. There is something next to them but, in the best traditions of scientific research, I can’t work out what it is.

We’re very much looking foward to our next show at The Cornerstone Arts Centre in Didcot, Oxfordshire on May 5, when the Greenfingers Challenge, which is fast becoming the horticultural talent search of the millennium that every gardener in the UK wants to win, will continue.

This is the thrilling bonfire I had at my allotment on Saturday, in which I and a team of helpers reduced several huge piles of dead and dry brambles to dust. I have since dug the ashes into that bed so am expecting great things from the crops I plant there.

Dan and I have been rehearsing for our Leamington Spa show, which is this Friday. We’re in the latest edition of the Leamington Courier but you have to buy the paper to read the interview. On the afternoon of the show, we will be performing live on BBC Coventry and Warwickshire and Dan will once again whip out his impressive cucumber trumpet so do tune in at around 3pm.

The day after – Saturday 21 – we shall be popping up at the Colliers Wood Ukulele Festival, performing a selection of Can You Dig It?’s greatest hits. Dan will be playing his unusual accordion-shaped ukulele so it’s a treat not to be missed.